its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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