I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
