Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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