The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
