It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
