Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
