TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
