yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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