Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
