the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
