She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
