At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
