I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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