So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
