Whoa Z and x make the same sound
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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