what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
