Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
