jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize
