i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
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