This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
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