I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
