On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
