How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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