Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
