I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
