it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
