People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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