Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
