I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
So much Jack, so little girl.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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