I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
