what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
