i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
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