no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
the day after is always just damage control
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Randomize
