for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
