did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
