I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
