i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
The power of my boobs compel you
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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