How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
