we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
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