dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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