No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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