Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
