My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
