Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Randomize
