Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
