We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
