I like to think it a success when the cops are called
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
