there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
