I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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