ugly people sure do ruin things
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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