lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize
