Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I need water and some morals
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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