Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
